Momma was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer in May of 2004, that was one of the darkest days of my life! She went through horrible chemotherapy and was told that she was in remission in january of 2005. In June of 2005, the cancer was back, with a vengence. She underwent surgery in september 2005 to debulk the tumor. I was told that the surgery was a success and all she needed was one more chemo treatment and she would be fine. It wasn't to be.
Just a few days after her surgery, Hurricane Rita was heading directly toward us. We were under a mandatory evacuation. They had to airlift momma out and brought her to a hosptial about 90 miles aways. Due to everyone evacuating and leaving town at the same time, it took me 18 hours to drive those 90 miles. Momma started giving up then, she just didn't have the strength to go on. Everything went downhill from there. After we were allowed back home after the cleanup from Rita, momma stayed in the hospital most of the time.
In march of 2006, she was going into organ failure, I was in complete denial, I kept thinking, she's going to snap out of this any minute now. But she wouldn't. On the morning of march 17th, she started reaching to the ceiling and talking to her nephew that passed away a few years earlier. She did that for about 2 hours, then out of nowhere, she sat straight up in the bed, acted completely normal. She told me "you better go home and check on your daddy, but hurry up and get back up here, cause when you get back, I'm going home". I was so happy to see her acting normal, I left, I got back about an hour and a half later, she was going in and out of a coma by then.
I couldn't believe it. The nurses all talked to me and tried to tell me that she was dying, her organs were failing, this was it. I couldn't accept that, until the priest came, he finally made me accept it, well the best I could.
I had to go sign a DNR, as it would do no good to revive her if her organs were failing. That had to be the longest walk of my life, down to the nurses station. After I signed it, I went back to her side. She made me know that she wanted to tell me something. I kept telling her that it was ok for her to go home, she finally got out three words "Don't hurt you". I asked her Momma, you think if you go home, I won't be able to handle it, don't you? She nodded yes, then I told her, with tears streaming down my face, so many, I felt like I was blind from them, It's ok momma, you go home to your mother, I'll be fine! Besides you'll be watching over me won't you? She nodded yes. I said and you will come and get me when it's my time? She nodded yes and took a deep breath and said "I love you" and went into a coma. It took 5 hours for her heart to stop beating, the whole time, I sat by her, with my head on her chest, singing that old song, "Will the circle be unbroken".
My heart is forever broken, until I see her again in Heaven. Rest well momma, you were an angel on earth, and now you are an angel in Heaven. I love you!
