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Momma's StoryDaddy's StoryMargaret's Story
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Margaret's Story
My family and I were incredibly Blessed to have crossed paths with Margaret in 2006. I had lost my father on 9/1/2006, & discovered online memorials. I had wished that I knew of this when I lost my mother in 1999. I went online after the loss of my dad, & found a memorial site for my dad. Not long after I created the page for my dad, I added my mother to it. I suddenly began to receive lovely condolences, & candles with words of prayers & strength from a lady named Margaret Buonpane. I had no idea who she was, how this site works, & thought how kind!!! She reached out to me & made me countless graphics for my parents, as she was mourning the passing of her mother. Her mom had passed six months before my father, so her loss was as equally raw as mine. We eventually exchanged phone numbers & what would become dear friends for over a decade.
Margaret was so kind & generous with her time to me, making graphics for me, & many others over the years. Her acts of kindness, was a daily staple in my life, as well as for my family. We spoke on the phone everyday, maybe 2-3 times a day. Her dad, at the time was ill & his health was declining. I would send puzzle books to her to give to him as she expressed his interest in it. There were a few times I would hear him in the background speaking to Margaret about simple things. His voice was very gentle, calm & quiet. Her concern for his health was very understandable. She fought tooth & nail for him & his well being until his last breath. Sadly, I would be on the phone with her as he was going through the death rattle. I heard him dying with her. I shared her tears, as it brought me right back to both my losses. It was a moment in time that I will never forget.
Life went on after the passing of Margaret's dad. We'd continue to speak on the phone daily. Her brother Tony, was her rock. He's a very strong person, with a heart of gold. Margaret was very close to my daughter & watched her grow up through the years. I recall sending her all of her pics from school yearly, even her JHS graduation picture. My daughter was graduating in June of 2016, but the pics came earlier. So, I sent her the pics to have. We'd gush over how big she got, how mature she is, & how highschool was a heartbeat away, not to mention driving. Margaret would always provide her love & support to my daughter, she'd speak to her a lot on the phone. She'd help her with her homework. She'd listen to my daughter sing on the phone as she was in the school choir. I recall her telling me & my daughter that her voice was as sweet as an Angel. She would be be awe over her, & sometimes brought to tears. Margaret was a lady that loved to laugh, & one to easily cry. Sadly, she would share with me how badly she was bullied as a kid, & how it stuck with her. I would try to tell her to never give a bully this much power so many years later. She knew & agreed about it, but her heart said a different story.
Margaret had a very strong belief in God, faith, spirituality. It came in handy for the dark days that were ahead for her. As the years went on, we always remained very good friends. Exchanging holiday cards/gifts, the tears without our parents. She was my rock when I had surgery in 2008, & fell ill after it. She spoke up & took no nonsense from anyone who attempted to hurt me. She was very protective of my family & I. No words can express how much we laughed, cried, complained to each other, lol. Margaret suffered from severe depression. Her health was beginning to decline, & I felt helpless as I was a distance away from her. She unfortuanately would fall at least 2 times, & find out she had A fib, & had to see a cardiologist. She was doing ok with it for a while. The doctor though left the location she was going to & she was very reluctant to see a new doctor. She became frustrated with life, doctors, and people she believed that were not her friends pretending to be her friends. Her depression got the best of her because she slowly declined to the point that she would not leave her house. When we first met, she would drive the car her brother & she shared to places, errands etc, to just totally stop. She fell outside her house, in 2016 and hit her head on the ground, on the car door too. She refused medical attention, despite the fact 911 was there. She was ok that time. The next fall would happen in her house. Her legs, feet were very swollen & she was in constant pain. She lost her balance & I recall she fell, her brother finding her on the floor. She would get a ramp for her to walk with a cane to try to make it easier, a lift chair in the livingroom. Showering became a task, depression, & frustration got stronger by the day. She longed to be reunited with her parents, and cried daily about her mother. Her pain was surreal, it literally paralyzed her. She found no happiness in anything. I felt so lost and helpless on how to help my dear friend. I reached out to a therapist where she lived & they spoke. This would continue until the very end of May of 2016, Margaret was sounding very weak, & short of breath. She coughed a lot, & breathing was difficult for her at times. By now she was so depressed, she would speak of all her lost loved ones, even her mom's dog Macho, that sadly had to be put down. I'd share with her pics of my adopted pooch. As I said we spoke daily. On June 3rd, I had left to pick up my daughter from school, Margaret left me a chilling vmail. "Hi, it's me, call me". She had sounded very weak, almost unrecogonizable on my machine. I kept that vmail. I had spoken to her that morning as I did every morning. She was telling me that she had been vomiting, & it looked purple. Said to me it was purple like the late Prince singer, calling it Prince juice. However, she sounded very bad to me & I told her to go to the ER as this does not sound right to me. I went to pick my daughter up from school & would call her when I got back. I did speak with her & she was very sick, I was very worried this time, but could not do a thing from where I lived. I wrote her a message on Facebook, a private message. I told her I love her and hope she feels better. She read it. The very next day, it was weird, I had to take my dog for her yearly check up, & told myself I will call Margaret as soon as I get back because she was an hour behind me and I did not want to wake her up. So, on my way home, my daughter & brother were with me, we went to the Burger King drive thru, when my cell phone rang. It said Margaret home. I was happy she was calling me, then thought wait, she never calls my cell. I felt something was wrong. I recall saying shakily, hello.... The voice on the other end was calm & cool, it was her brother Tony. He advised me that he had to take her to the hospital & she was very sick. He told me that the doctor said she has to stay in ICU, as she was in a lot of pain & was on a morphine drip. Tony advised that at that time, all he knew was that, & they were going to test more. I thanked him for calling, but that feeling in me remained. Tony called me like 10 minutes later, I was suprised. He told me that the dr just left & told him that Margaret has cancer, & the purple stuff she was throwing up from was sepsis. The dr told Tony that the morphine drip will help, and did not expect her to make it throught the night. I was devastated!!!! I told him I was on my way home & to call me as soon as he knows more. I walked in my door, seconds later Tony calls me again. I gasped for air to say hello, as my hands were as shaky as my lip. I said hello..... There was utter silence. He said "She's gone", I fell to my knees on my couch & broke down hard. My brothers, my daughter running to my side. I was in a daze as I could hear his words but it left me numb. He told me, that he got there after we hung up on the last call, went to see her, & says she was hooked up to the morphine, saying that her eyes were frozen, glazed at him as if a stare. He said there were no words from her but her eyes. He said he looked at her, & stepped away maybe to talk to the dr, but got the news not long after seeing Margaret that last time. She died within hours of being in the ICU & being on morphine. Her death was confirmed as a toxic sepsis, with cancer in the kidney or liver, I'm not certain of where but she had it. Per Tony, the dr said if it were just the cancer, that could have been treated but the sepsis was deadly, & so sadly it would cause her demise. I was totally devastated & never thought anything like this would be the outcome. I would remain in a daze for a very long time. I got Margaret a stone that reads Special Friend it's heart shaped and I put it on my mom's headstone, as comfort to me. I'd do anything to ease this hole in my heart & in my soul. Nothing felt real to me. Everything we shared for so many years, has led me to this moment, weeping, sobbing, that another person I loved, I cared for so much has departed this world for the next. Nothing made sense to me.
I decided to keep Margaret here on the page she created for her parents, as this symbolizes the reunion. Margaret wanted to go home so badly she would cry. My heart will forever be empty without our daily calls. Though her voice has been silenced, she is in God's home, reunited with every person she longed to see again. She was promised by her mom that she would take her hand when it was time. My mom said the same to me. I know that Margaret is an Angel alongside my own Angels, & share God's eternal paradise. I know she is with me, & have since grown inside as a person, & never, ever allow anything or anyone to destroy my insides, and have learned to just let go of people, situations that don't want to change themselves. I have learned so much from Margaret. Her legacy, her words, her laughter, & above all her unconditional love is something that will live on in me, my family forever. Margaret, I was so truly Blessed to have crossed paths with you & Tony. The Heaven's are forever brighter because you are there. I love you dearest friend, & know you are forever with me, as my Angels are. God Bless you forever. Rest easy my sweet friend, I love you!!!!